Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The little friendship that could... not

The last two years or so have been true learning experiences for me.  I don't think I did as much growing up then as I did during any other time in my life.  Well, barring walking and talking and all that, but I don't count that since I don't remember it.

One thing I learned is that you can't change who you innately are, nor can you change who others are.  If a person is meant to be your friend, it will happen.  Nothing needs to be forced.  I went thru several friendships that were eye-opening in that I wasn't aware of different motivators in people.  Be it money, fame, lust (not towards me, thank goodness), people do what they do for selfish reasons.  It is extremely hard to find someone who is genuinely kind.  Well, that and also not annoying.  Either way, it is rarely personal.  But that's hard to realize that! 

I recently lost a really good friend of mine.  No, she didn't die, she just sort of... dropped me like a bad habit.  And though I accept it, it's still a bitter pill to swallow because I really did treat her like a sister would.  I don't think most, if any, of her other friends would treat her like I would, have her back like I would.  But in the end, for very childish reasons, the friendship fell apart like a house of cards.  It was disappointing because a) I didn't think she was like that and b) I was so very close to her. 

Either way, I wish her the best and I hope she succeeds in life.  I shed many tears over the lost friendship simply because it's something that I take very seriously, but in the end, I'm still glad we had our little friendship for a small while because those encounters left me better off, in a better mood, despite the way it all ended.

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